The Stiffs travelled to Enricho’s adopted county of ‘S-Ix, innit’ for what looked like a decent test of their credentials. Enricho did not make the trip since he classes this area of the said county as ‘too posh’, and for fear that the border guards would need to see a valid passport and visa before allowing him back into Cambridgeshire. Their opponents were the junior side of Saffron Walden Town, who perform in the Ridgeons league, and were from a division higher in the league structure. Unfortunately, the game was not played at Catons Lane, and therefore the faithful (well Mssrs Appleyard and Heslam and the PO) travelled into the unknown at Quendon.  

As you would expect from a Ridgeons League reserve side the opposition fielded a youthful and fit looking side. The visitors opted for a 4-4-2 with Big Ant between the sticks. The back four consisted of Pistol, Oli, veteran Marco Turnero and Hesser. In midfield, we fielded Tubes, Arge, AJ and Si. This was my first look at AJ and my first thought was that he was going to have to do a lot of tackling! Up front, we had Dan Golder and new signing PJ. The new lad coming from a family with a good pedigree, his granddad’s brother was an ex-pro and his granddad and uncle playing at a reasonable standard in ‘junior’ football. On the bench, we had Josh and Ansell. The latter returning from an unsuccessful trial with Club Deportivo Tenerife (Ey! Ey! Ey!) with ‘a heaby cold in the dose’ (ah poor lamb!). Si Taylor attempted to discard his gloves when the PO arrived but as usual the eagle eyes of the Press had spotted them. Darren Ansell wore both gloves and a vest but he did have a note from his mum!

The match started with the home side kicking down the slope but into the wind blowing down the open field. There was an even start and although there were no clear chances created the front two for both sides were looking lively; the pace of the home side was immediately clear but the deceptive pace of the big lad upfront for the visitors almost caught out the home defence.  The visitors were unlucky to concede a penalty when they only half cleared a cross into their box, and made a couple of weak challenges on the edge of the box. The home side’s forward took a tumble when ‘sandwiched’ between Oli and Hesser. The home side’s penalty taker hit his penalty to the keeper’s right but comfortably wide of the post. The celebrations had just died down when the referee blew his whistle and harshly ordered a retake for encroachment. [I would argue that it was harsh on the grounds (backed up by TV evidence every week) that it would be impossible to have a legitimate penalty (one with no encroachment by either attacker or defender) and that the retake should only take place if one side or the other gains an advantage by encroaching]. The home side who could barely believe their luck then scored from the retake; this time another taker firing low into the right corner past Ant. The visitors regrouped and hit back when Arge accurately passed to Hesser who ran determinedly at the home defence before crossing dangerously from the left to the far post. Unfortunately, the ball drifted over Dan as he raced in on goal. The visitors then created a golden opportunity when a ball from the back, from Tunero, found Si in acres of space down the left channel. Si shot from the edge and his slightly miss-hit chip shot defeated the keeper before just clipping the top of the bar. Arge then found Tubes wide on the right; he then cut in from the touchline and fired a well-struck shot towards the middle of the goal. The keeper made a good save to push the ball over the top. The home side although looking dangerous with the pace from the centre forward and the powerful running and dribbling from the impressive number ten failed to create any clear chances. This was thanks to a resolute defence led by Oli’s positive example that repelled most threats.  AJ almost caused a problem when his over hit free kick just drifted over, although the keeper seemed to have any danger covered.  Walden again went close when the home side again only half cleared and again put in a weak challenge on the edge. The home side’s striker turned neatly before Marco blocked well. The warning wasn’t heeded as the visitors again only half cleared and the ball was returned to the centre forward on the right edge of the box. He cut in towards the centre of the goal before hitting a powerful left foot drive into the right corner. The lead nearly increased further when the number ten, after another good run, fed the number seven with an excellent ball down the right channel. The winger lifted his shot above the advancing keeper but just over the top.

Half time 2 v 0 – So much for Essex hospitality, NO TEA!!

The second half started with the visitors on top, despite a couple of hopeful long-range efforts from the home side. PJ went close when he got on the end of a long ball from Turnero, with his effort flashing across the goal but wide of the right hand post. The visitors were then fortunate to get back in the game when a long ball from the back was headed on by PJ to Dan Golder. Dan, who was just offside, then raced away from the home defence before finishing calmly firing into the right corner as the keeper advanced.  The linesman had raised his flag, but after a discussion with the referee the goal stood. He probably paid the penalty for an erratic flag or two in the first half and the referee had lost some confidence in him (always a difficult call for the poor official).  However, the linesman did himself no favours when he stated ‘that he may as well raise his flag all the time’ going forward.  This led to a mature discussion between the lino and Ansell on the ethics of the game, before each concluded that the other was ‘a prick’! The visitors continued to threaten and Dan managed to free Hesser, however the keeper comfortably saved his shot. The home side were restricted to hitting the visitors on the break. This threat was lessened as both Pistol and Hesser got forward more to add vigour to the midfield battle; and when a substitution led to the dangerous centre forward dropping back into midfield. However, Walden had a good effort fired narrowly wide of the right post following a quick break down the left and a pull back to one of the midfielders.  The visitors then broke up an attack Pistol then passed to Arge who spread the ball wide on the right to Dan. He found Hesser galloping through the middle who in turn passed to PJ who held off the last defender before neatly flicking the ball over the keeper and into the net. Celebrations were short as the linesman lived up to his promise and raised his flag. This time although PJ was on side the referee agreed with the linesman (although this evened up the offside decisions it did leave an unsavoury feeling). Moments later the flag was again raised (although close I will give the linesman the benefit of the doubt) but the referee played on. PJ hesitated as the home side appealed, and although he rounded the keeper the delay allowed a defender to get back to clear from off the line.  Walden then hit back when their number six surged through the middle and exchanged passes before driving powerfully just over the top from about 25 yards. Ant took his hands away from a shot cum cross from distance that skipped off the back of the crossbar. He was less than pleased when a corner was given. As the visitors pushed again for an equaliser they were hit with a sucker punch, after a quick break down the right the ball was switched to the left. The attacker ran onto this pass calmly rounded Ant as he cut back onto his right foot, before taking his time to pass the ball into the corner despite Oli’s efforts on the ball.  The home side then tested Ant from distance but the big fella saved comfortably. The visitors to their great credit never threw the towel in, and almost got a consolation when Tubes fed the overlapping Pistol who put in an excellent far post cross from the right. PJ out-jumped the centre back but his well-directed header lacked the power to beat the keeper.

Supporters MoM – I think it was a good all round performance and there were a number of good individual performances. AJ, and its never easy when your dad is the manager grew from an uncertain start but perhaps just needs to take a bit more time (and a deep breath) with free kicks. Oli also performed well at the back. However for me there was a clear winner not just for his performance on the day but also the promise his shows for the future.  The winner for superbly leading the line was Dan Golder.

The only poor advert was from manager Paddy Van Ancarrepairs who parked his sign-written van strategically at the side of pitch (better ask the Marketing dept if we get some more advertising revenues) advertising his garage business. A ball was cleared and gently bounced towards the van, after a minor contact the front number plate was dislodged!